The Bible and Dating: Balancing Your Head and Your Heart

Do you remember playing on the seesaw when you were young? One of the funniest things that can happen on the seesaw (as long as your are doing it and it’s not being done to you) is when you jump off while the other person is in the air, and they come crashing to the ground. My sister probably has a permanent back problem because we did that to her so much! Whenever there is an imbalance of weight on the seesaw, bad things happen.

In dating, there are two things that must remain in balance…your head and your heart. There must be an equilibrium between your thoughts and your feelings. Whenever there is an imbalance (just like on the seesaw), bad things happen.

After calling the Philippians to rejoice in all things and to display their gentleness for all men, Paul gives another important expectation to them in Phillipians 4:6: “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”

Paul tells them to be anxious for nothing. In other words, don’t worry about anything because the world worries about everything. The world is guided by emotions and feelings. Notice how often you’ll hear people saying things like “I don’t feel like going, so I’m not going to go.” Without the wisdom of God impacting their decision making, all that remains is a lopsided pursuit of whatever feeling they have next.

This couldn’t be more true of the world than in the realm of dating. The world worries about dating perpetually. But Paul’s call on our lives is to be anxious about nothing, and that nothing includes what is going on in your dating life. He tells us not to be governed solely by emotion but to allow the wisdom that comes only through prayer to permeate our perspective on dating. Wisdom must work alongside your feelings as you seek the Lord in prayer about dating.

Feelings themselves are good, but they are insufficient as a guide for decision making that is pleasing to God. Wisdom pursues dating patiently. Wisdom pursues dating purposefully. Wisdom pursues dating practically. The goal is not to understand things as you feel them but to embrace them as God intends them.

Prayer is the source of wisdom that balances feelings. That is why Paul tells us to worry about nothing but pray about everything. How do you pray about dating? Here’s a better question, do you pray about your dating life as much as you think about your dating life? Are your prayers more like ‘God please give me a relationship because I think I’m ready?’ Or are they more like ‘God please give me the faith to trust your timing?’

The goal of prayer as it relates to dating is not to bring God’s heart into line with your desires but to bring your heart into line with His. When we make our requests known to God, it is not for Him to fulfill our longings but to bring our them into alignment with His. In dating, you must worry about nothing and pray about everything. When this occurs, you will find a balance of your head and your heart that will result in a relationship that honors God.